Now that spring has arrived, Central Park’s most beloved residents are once again out and about and bringing joy to nature lovers young and old. Yes, the beloved squirrels are back!

     When not hopping from tree to tree or playfully scurrying in the grass to the amusement of sightseers, these adorable rodents are busy rummaging for nuts for food and leaves for their nests; all to keep their families fed and sheltered, and prepared for the day when they will finally destroy mankind.

     One shudders to think what will happen when the squirrels put their horrifying plan for world domination into motion.  Perhaps the women and children will be spared in the conflagration, but it’s doubtful. If you’ve ever looked into the cold dead eyes of one of these cute fluff balls, you just know they won’t leave any survivors.  

     So let’s all get our affairs in order and welcome our tyrannical conquerors! Hopefully our deaths will be quick and painless at the tiny little hands of the delightful and mischievous squirrel!

Our Tyrannical Conquerors!




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