The Bridge That Thinks It’s So Freaking Great

The Pine Bank Bridge. Yawn.

Located near the Columbus Circle entrance across West Drive is the Pine Bank Bridge, the most popular and overrated bridge in Central Park.  Every day hundreds of tourists flock to this bridge to take picture after picture for some goddamn reason. It’s like they’ve never seen a bridge before!

It’s not like it’s the oldest bridge in Central Park.  There are plenty of other bridges that have been there longer. Does anyone care about that? Nope. It’s “Hey, look at that awesome bridge that hasn’t been here nearly as long as some of the fine stone bridges in the park!” It’s enough to make you sick.

Oooooh, look how fancy that is!

Plus the handrails are cast-iron. Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass that is to paint? We’re talking at least two coats!  Plus all those fancy leaves and shit some showoff artisan just had to put into the latticework – that doubles your work right there!

So come to Central Park and enjoy the Pine Bank Bank Bridge because some stupid guidebook or website said it was so freaking great.  God forbid you should make an unbiased judgement all by yourself! You’re just a bunch of sheep!

Great, another arty shot of the Pine Bank Bridge. Nobody cares!

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