Bridal Path Zombies

Looking for a nice place for a brisk jog or a leisurely walk in Central Park? Then why not try the bridal path, an 8 mile stretch of dirt and gravel which starts at Pine Bank Bridge, goes north up and around the Reservoir and North Meadow providing a beautiful view of many of the parks finest attractions!

Just watch out for zombies.

Bridal Path Zombies can be found on the section of the path which runs parallel to Central Park West during early morning hours. They are easily recognized by their pale appearance, baggy sweatpants, and baseball caps pulled down tight over their unkempt hair. Their slow, lumbering gait is caused by untied running shoes and an iPhone held directly in their filed of view. Though often believed to be solitary creatures, Bridal Path Zombies have an almost pathological need to stay connected to the social network at all times.

Bridal Path Zombies usually travel alone  on their morning walks, but quite often they are seen tethered to a small canine that refuses to heed its master’s monosyllabic grunts and growls.

Rest assured, Bridal Path Zombies are harmless to humans, but park goers are urged to give them a wide birth, especially the ones that are not holding a venti size beverage from Starbucks, which is their main source of nourishment.

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One thought on “Bridal Path Zombies

  1. I’ve seen them! Are they related to the Times Sq. zombies that stop in the middle of the side walk or at intersections and lure their victims into “bumping” in to them?

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