The Passive Aggressive Patch

May3CentralPark

 

Looking for something fun to do?

Of course you are. You’re all about having fun no matter what the cost.

Then how about heading over to the southern tip of the East Green, where the most beautiful patch of white daffodils in Central Park awaits you. Tourists and native New Yorkers flock to this area every summer to gaze upon this beautiful sea of flowers –  but hey, why do I have to tell you? This is probably something you already know since you know everything.

Think of how wonderful it would be to come to the park on a day when you’re not so busy with that low paying job you should have left years ago and relaxing on a bench with a friend you haven’t seen for the longest time because you never check your text messages. Oh that’s right, you can’t text at your job even though everyone does but you have to follow the rules of the office even though it hasn’t gotten you a promotion.

So whenever you get the chance be sure to see the beautiful white daffodils on the East Green. No rush of course. Come by when your busy schedule clears up.

And if you can’t make it this summer, don’t worry about it. They’re just flowers. They’ll just die and grow back next year.

No thanks to you.   

 

 

 

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The Ravine

ravine

Located alongside the Wildflower Meadow in the North region of Central Park,  The Ravine is one of the most serene places the park has to offer. With it’s flowing stream (known as The Loch), rugged stone steps, and winding paths, the Ravine is a perfect display of nature  at its most tranquil.

Voted “Most Tranquil place in New York City” by Tranquil Quarterly from 2003-11, the cascading waters of the Ravine is the perfect remedy for frazzled nerves.

Harried park visitors looking to relax, decompress, and have their weary spirits return to a state of relaxation not felt since childhood before the real world took a big dump in their Cheerios will have a serendipitous experience in this magical place.

And as a special bonus, beginning in April special Tranquility Counselors from the Central Park Wellness Coalition will be patrolling the Ravine to answer questions and point visitors to the areas along The Loch that have been deemed the “most mellow.”

In keeping with the overwhelmingly tranquil nature of The Ravine, visitors are advised to silence their smartphones, clear their Qi of any negative energy, and leave that friend who can’t shut up for five goddamn seconds at the ball fields.